if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
