Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
