They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
