Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
