I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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