would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
tell me about the eggs
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