Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
