Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize