he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize