I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
