Jerry, you need to find god
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
