she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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