PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
this is an emotional support booty call
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
