My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
