do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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