Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
