it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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