Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
ttyl tear gas
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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