The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
