If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
