question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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