he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
