he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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