Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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