Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
