Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
