Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
