benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
