Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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