I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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