Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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