oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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