we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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