I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
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