found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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