Your tits are I can't wait for
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
