It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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