Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
