what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
