Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
