in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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