Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
