Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
