I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize