Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
