It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
