I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
