Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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