We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Randomize
