I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
