i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just want nice things and good sex
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
