is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
