mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
