oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
