Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i would punch a child for taco bell
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize