Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My penis needs a shock collar
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
