YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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