I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize