This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
