Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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