Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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