so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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